The elephant in the room became my teacher.

2020 so many people died suddenly, along with my husband. I was a new widow left to reflect on my inner world alone. “So, how does one grieve in isolation? Can I suppress this pain to move on?  Or must I look it in the face?” 

I realized I must face it all in order to “Liberate” this pain out of me and back to the universe from whence it came.   Grief… is the beautiful, natural, unavoidable elephant in the room which only wishes to be recognized, honored and released. 

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At first, I thought the sight of all my pain would kill me.  But then realized this process was helping me heal. 

Creating this series allowed me to see the unseeable and touch the untouchable emotions that can rule or even destroy our lives. I tore “myself” open to release them and was struck knowing they wanted only to be loved and understood.  “I can do that”, I heard myself say and let them go.  Now there is room for love.

 

The Art -The 14 pieces in this show seemed to create themselves.  Once I realized my small drawings depicting my terrifying feelings would NOT in fact kill me, I was at the studio daily to find a way to release them.  Seeing them all together, it struck me they wanted only to be loved and understood.  This process was helping me heal. In building the work, several ideas failed but I gladly, and almost on autopilot, found my way.

 

The Process ~ The 20 x 20” gallery wrapped canvases were painted black on the inside creating a shadowbox effect.  Less than 3 minutes were spent painting white visceral symbols on the black canvases representing the field of energy these emotions embodied.   The 5 x 7” white charcoal drawings on black paper were floated inside each canvas.  The shadowbox-front of each canvas was completely covered with heavy-duty brown paper and fastened in the back.  This paper was first crushed with my hands creating crisscross patterns like skin.  A slice was carefully placed in the center of each paper covering allowing me to tear it open, piece by piece, until the emotion inside was revealed, rediscovered, honored and released back to the universe from where it came.

 

Interaction ~ I invite my guests to come and interact with these pieces.  The same paper I used, and pencils will be there for you to write your feeling, tear it away, and send it off to the universe. Looking each emotion straight in the face takes so much of the pain and power away.  “Yes, I have felt that.” I hear people tell me over and over. Knowing someone else has felt the same feelings is in its own way freeing.